I have been personally asked many a time to explain those Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercials, and even though they’ve been parodied beyond belief for a few years now, apparently you simpletons still don’t get what they are all about. And so, you come crawling to me, desperately seeking what you can’t find on your own.
McConaughey is an artist. No, actually, screw that! McConaughey is ART! We should be counting ourselves amongst the blessed that a smooth southern bastard like him would even fancy an American automobile. Do you want to know the reason you don’t understand those commercials? It is because you are COWARDS! Afraid to acknowledge that there is a being above humanity, and he walks amongst us. We have been transcended and you can not reconcile your purpose on this blue rock.
Oh, you don’t know what he is talking about when he has a stare down with a bull in the middle of a prairie dirt road? Or what he is thinking when he hits a pool shot at his house party and drives away, leaving his invited guests unattended? Well you need to GROW UP. McConaughey is giving us gold and you go and sully it by not comprehending the prophetic edicts of the almighty!