I hope everyone is prepared for a good old-fashioned rant because the juices are flowing and we are rolling downhill. I just got out of the theater where I viewed “Midsommar”, a film that was marketed beautifully. I was convinced that this would be some mind-melting, artistic, philosophical horror spectacular. Even the great Jordan Peele,Continue reading “Midsommar (2019) – Movie Review”
Category Archives: 2019
Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019) – Movie Review
At long last, Phase 3 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is now complete, and what a doozie that was! After “Avengers: Infinity War” and “Avengers: Endgame” blew our tiny little minds, “Spider-Man: Far from Home” is here to essentially serve as an epilogue to the most ambitious chapter this franchise has produced so far. ConsiderContinue reading “Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019) – Movie Review”
Toy Story 4 (2019) – Movie Review
EMOTIONS! Yes, Pixar is back on their bullshit again, and you better believe you will cry or you will die trying. “Toy Story 4”, or what I have dubbed “Toy Story IV: The Quest for Peace”, is the fourth time Pixar has hit us with this story about the life of toys, a journey ofContinue reading “Toy Story 4 (2019) – Movie Review”
Ma (2019) – Movie Review
“Ma” has provided me with an interesting experience. For the first time in a good while, I found a movie that left me short on words. I sat on this viewing for about a week, desperately trying to muscle my way through my writer’s block before I finally rallied up the gall to tell youContinue reading “Ma (2019) – Movie Review”
Rocketman (2019) – Movie Review
In the wake of recent successful biographical films about entertainers, the inevitable production of one of the flamboyant performers of the past century has finally arrived. The songs of Elton John are amongst the most prodigious achievements in human history and the artist behind those mystifying compositions has lived a life worthy of being regaledContinue reading “Rocketman (2019) – Movie Review”
Brightburn (2019) – Movie Review
“Brightburn” has been marketed as a blending of the gruesomeness of the horror genre and the classic, but legally distinct from, Superman origin story, captained by the Gunn’s, who have had incredible success with the “Guardians of the Galaxy” films for Marvel. I had high expectations regarding the film’s concept: What would it be likeContinue reading “Brightburn (2019) – Movie Review”
Booksmart (2019) – Movie Review
If any of you are like me, I would like to express my sincere condolences at this moment. But, if you do share any common characteristics with this overly-opinionated amorphous blob named Zach, perhaps you can relate to the awkward nerd who puts up metaphoric walls in high school because they are afraid of othersContinue reading “Booksmart (2019) – Movie Review”
Long Shot (2019) – Movie Review
Seth Rogan is the luckiest human being on the face of this god-forsaken planet. He gets to co-star alongside Charlize Theron, one of the single most beautiful and talented human beings to ever grace cinema, in a romantic comedy where SHE is somehow inexplicably attracted TO HIM. I know that is obviously the entire premiseContinue reading “Long Shot (2019) – Movie Review”
John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019) – Movie Review
“John Wick” is the single most pro-dog media franchise since the conception of the WeRateDogs Twitter account, and portrays a mild, toned-down version of what would happen to anyone if you even laid a finger on my precious dog, Molly. In total seriousness, if any of you hurt her, every moment you aren’t running, IContinue reading “John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019) – Movie Review”
Detective Pikachu (2019) – Movie Review
Movies based on videogames have a dubious track record. In fact, if you do not count movies that are of such poor quality, they are unintendedly comical geniuses, like “Super Mario Bros.” or “Mortal Kombat”, the genre is essentially a waste of everyone’s time and money. Needless to say, that despite recruiting the star powerContinue reading “Detective Pikachu (2019) – Movie Review”
Shut Up Zach! 