Category Archives: Petty Rants

Matthew McConaughey is beyond your plebian cognition

I have been personally asked many a time to explain those Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercials, and even though they’ve been parodied beyond belief for a few years now, apparently you simpletons still don’t get what they are all about. And so, you come crawling to me, desperately seeking what you can’t find on your own.Continue reading “Matthew McConaughey is beyond your plebian cognition”

I have had it up to here with Disney and their remakes

Before you mindlessly hand over more of your legal tender to Disney, please do us all a favor and rip it up first. Hell, you can burn it or even make some fine origami. Or better yet, keep the money. But please stop paying for Disney to remake their own movies. Disney is remaking “Dumbo,Continue reading “I have had it up to here with Disney and their remakes”

Dr. Phil needs to be stopped at all costs!

Can someone please tell Dr. Phil to cut it out? I have no way of getting in contact with him but he is a reoccurring dream antagonist of mine and I think it’s time he and I aired out our dirty laundry. No matter the situation, it seems like clockwork I have a dream everyContinue reading “Dr. Phil needs to be stopped at all costs!”

Maybe I shouldn’t go out to dinner with my family…

Take a moment and let your imagination wonder to an enchanted realm of possibilities. Picture yourself sitting at a table at a new restaurant with your parents. They come bearing their usual skeptical optimism, where your father is interested but really was not in the mood to try anything new because you chose this newContinue reading “Maybe I shouldn’t go out to dinner with my family…”